***** Women, The Big Issue ******

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman.
If you don't, you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying.
If you don't, you are good for nothing.
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing.
If you don't, you are not understanding.
If you make romance, you are an "experienced man"
If you don't, you are half a man.

If you visit her too often, she thinks its boring.
If you don't, she accusses you of double crossing.
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy.
If you don't, you are a dull boy.
If you are jealous, she says it's bad.
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her.
If you attempt romance, she says you don't respect her.
If you don't, she thinks you don't like her.
If you are a minute late, she complains it is hard to wait.
If she is late, she says, that's a girl's way.

If you visit another, she accuses you of being heel.
If she is visited by another, "Oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold.
If you kiss her too many times, she yells that you are taking advantage.
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics.
If you don't, she thinks it is just one of the man's tactics.
If you stare at others, she accuses you of flirting.
If you talk, she wants you to listen.
If you listen, she wants you to talk.

Oh God! We created these creatures called "women"

So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable.
O Lord....tell me what to do.
Amen.